Innocent Silences and Sinful Screams
by Kuma12
Summary: Ireland. End of the 19th century. Naruto and Sasuke grew up together, almost brothers. But Naruto has something he's afraid to admit. AU, YAOI, SASUXNARU, CHARACTER DEATH. Rated T for insinuations. One-shot.


AN: This is a story I wrote for English class of my sophomore year in high school (I graduate this abominable place in 2012). Originally using the characters Aaron and Faolan (the former is a name I love, the latter an old Irish name), but decided to change it so it would be a sasuxnaru fic.  
Yes, this is an alternate universe fic, and it takes place in Ireland at the end of the 19th century.  
Yes, there is a character death. Deal with it. It was supposed to be a gothic romance story (and no, I don't mean like the infamous 'My Immortal' fic, I mean like Frankenstein), and there needed to be a violent encounter, and Faolan (now Sasuke) needed to die to make my visions for the story work. Future fics will most likely not include such things.  
WARNING: YAOI! Meaning two guys getting it on with each other. Contains a brief sex scene. Not very much description, because even though I love smut, I feel dirty writing it, and I'm pretty sure I'm not allowed to outsource any of the writing.  
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Nothing at all. I WISH I owned the franchise, cuz then sasuxnaru would be something that would be happening all the damn time in the actual series. Alas, it is not meant to be.  
DISCLAIMER2: Good album by Seether. Look it up.

Innocent Silence and Sinful Screams

Journal of Naruto Uzumaki

Looking back on it now, I really don't understand why I did what I did, why I allowed my own lustful pining to get the better of me, to let myself transgress all moral boundaries. The best explanation is that it was a good idea at the time, but in reality it really wasn't. But when you're caught up in the moment, you never really think about the consequences of your actions, especially if those actions feel righter to you than anything else imaginable.

It was the summer of 1858 in Dundalk, when I realized who the one person was that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. This person, to put it quite simply, was perfect. Raven black hair, lustrous black eyes that reflected the midnight sky, skin pale as the full moon and, if I may be so bold, the erotic figure of Adonis.

Those reading this may be confused at this allusion to a male deity. The simple fact is that I am not what many would consider normal. While it may be true that I myself am a man, it seemed, ever since I had become a young adult, that so were the objects of my desire. Sasuke Uchina as the first.

We had grown up together, the two of us. Our fathers worked together building the railways to Dublin and Belfast, and would later work again on the link to Greenore. In fact, the pair had come from Belfast themselves, best friends from the day they were born. So when the two of us were born on the same day in 1842, our families decided we would benefit from growing up like brothers.

And we did exactly that. We played together, ate together, went to school together, duped our parents together, and subsequently got in trouble together. We even became brothers for real. One day, at the creek deep in the woods, we told each other our deepest secrets, and swore eternal friendship. We then took a jagged stone, cut open our palms, and pressed them together to mix the blood, officially making us brothers, as well as sealing the oath. If we could not be related by birth, we could at least share the red life in our veins.

So it came as a surprise when he told me he fancied the town beauty, Roisin Duffy. I had known her for quite sometime myself, and had become intimately familiar with her seditious nature. Many a day had I come home covered in mud, vain attempts to explain the situation wasted on my mother, with Sasuke just giggling behind me. And while the fact that he harbored this secret from me did not cause any anger on my part, it did spur within me a relentless and un-fathomable jealousy.

I asked my father if he could help explain it, and he told me two different possibilities. The first was that I fancied her as well, and that I was jealous because Sasuke had more chance of reciprocity. The second answer he told me was that I had gotten used to having only one friend, and not having to share that friend. My father explained that I was probably afraid of losing the precious time I had with Sasuke to Roisin. And while both of these answers made sense logically, something in my gut told me that neither could be correct.

My doubts were confirmed a few days later when, down by the creek, Sasuke suggested we go swimming. He began to strip down to dive in, and the sight made me stop and stare in awe. I told you before he had the body of a Greek god, but I'll tell you now that this body of his developed very early. Strong legs, lean hips, shaped abdominals and broad, flat chest, he was everything I ever dreamed of. And the moment I realized this, I ran home, leaving Sasuke there, naked and confused.

I did not leave my house for quite some time afterwards, and every time Sasuke visited, trying to talk discuss the recent events with me, I'd have my mother tell him I was very sick. I was afraid to see him, afraid to confront him about the scene by the creek.

Several days passed until the night I crawled out the window. Perhaps it was the hooting of the owls that called to me, or the rustling of the foxes skittering about the ground. I like to believe the full moon was what drew me out, reminding me of how pale his skin looked, even in full sunlight. But that was exactly what was puzzling me. It wasn't the first time I had seen his naked form, not even the tenth or the twentieth. So why had the thought of him caused my head to spin in wonder?

Deep in thought, I must have wandered towards the creek, for that was where I found myself when the sound of rustling leaves brought me back to reality. Looking around me, I saw his nude figure walking towards me, water falling from his hair gleaming like drops of mercury.

We stood there, Sasuke and I, for what felt like hours, although it could have not been more than five minutes. It was then that he flashed me one of his bright smiles, and took off into the woods like a gazelle.

I tried to keep up, but branches kept getting in the way and my eyes, not as used to the dark as his, could not see the rocks and roots in my way. He seemed to sense this, and stopped in a clearing. I caught up, and as I stood there panting, he walked towards me and wrapped his pale arms around me in the most loving embrace I have ever felt. Looking up, I saw the same love in his eyes as I felt in his cradling arms. But then he did the one thing I would never expect him to do.

Sasuke kissed me.

It lasted for less than a second, but my shock remained for several minutes afterwards, before I was able to formulate that one burning question.

"H-how did you k-know?"

"Why else would you run from the creek the other day?" he giggled. "I'm not stupid Naruto, I know lust when I see it."

And here his expression turned serious.

"Especially when it comes from the person I want too."

And with that, we lay down, lips locked in a playful fight for dominance, and as my own clothes were shed, he rolled us over so that I was underneath him, and as his lips begin to brush against my neck and chest, all hopes of us ever seeing heaven died.

When we woke up the next morning, we were still on the ground in the clearing, naked and in each other's arms. The only difference was the villagers surrounding us. It would not have distressed us so much had our fathers not been among them. They took us by the ears all the way back to the village, not even allowing us the dignity of our clothes. I felt as if we were on display for the town to see, and as the people poured out of their houses to get a look at us, I wanted nothing more than to disappear.

Several days passed before I came out of my room again. But it was not my decision this time. My father broke down my door, apparently having lost the key to the lock he had put me behind. Dragging me out to the space behind our house, he began to beat me. His attacks were ruthless, and his verbal abuse made it even worse, making me feel like a grotesque abomination.

But soon I stopped feeling the pain, stopped hearing his insults. I just raged inside, and as his fist flew towards me once more, time seemed to slow down. The sky opened up and rain began to fall, as if God was crying for lost children. And as the thunder cracked in the sky, I had new energy to stand. I could see every swing my father made, dodging each one, and as his swings grew wilder and less controlled, I saw my chance. Ducking under his arm, I grabbed the hatchet against the wall of the house, and swung. And as the blade buried itself deep in his skull, lighting flashed bright as the sun, the thunder roared louder than a train at full speed, and the rain felt like stones being flung against my back. I ran as fast as I could to Sasuke's house, but he had not been so lucky as I, his father more controlled than mine.

I did not see the body, nor did I wish to. I did not want my last memories to be of his bloody corpse, instead preferring to imagine him as he was in the moonlight, perfect in every way.

I started running. I followed the tracks all the way to Dublin, hoping to hide among the people. I've heard accounts of men from my village looking for me, looking for a chance to complete their quest for divine justice. I've never seen them for myself, however, but I guess it shouldn't be such a surprise; I keep to myself everywhere I go, preferring to stay away from public gatherings, just in case Sasuke's father is among them, waiting to strike me down like he did his son.

Perhaps that would be best though, for since that day I've become obdurate and grim, no longer caring what happens to me. I often think of what might have been, and I know I should feel sinful about it, but the reality is that the days of my youth are really what I wish to have again. I know I incur my own desolation. I know that it is my fault I writhe in my sleep. But it does not stop me from revering the days of my innocent youth.

But I know that I shall be a pariah until the day I succumb to that one fate we all share. So now I just wait for that day to be reunited with the one person who made me feel whole, who made me feel alive.

- 1901, Dublin

AN: Ah, I see you have finished my story. Hope you enjoyed! First story, but don't let that discourage you from being a pain in my ass about ANYTHING. The more you criticize my work, the better I'll get. But please note, I said CRITICIZE, not BASH or FLAME. Bashing and flaming will be ignored. Only constructive criticism is welcome. Thank you very much.


End file.
